In the last year, I’ve heard lots of theories as to why I left Marvin UMC.

  1. He’s gay. He’ll come out the closet soon.
  2. Satan caused his fall by finding the chink in his armor: intellectual curiosity.
  3. He had an affair.
  4. He was handsomely paid out.
  5. Burn-out.
  6. He lost his faith.
  7. He’s moving to another church.
  8. He was spoiled by the rotten apples (atheists, agnostics, etc.).
  9. His denomination (UMC) excommunicated him for heresy.
  10. He had sex with something other than his wife.*

If you are scoring at home. (or all by yourself) 9 out of 10 are wrong. To save you the trouble, #7 is true. I am a part of a small group of people that would probably balk at being called a church. But, you can if you like.

So, there was no scandal, no scoop. I wasn’t forced out or asked to leave like Kathy, Daniel and others. I  am deeply thankful for my time at Marvin. However, I decided to leave because I didn’t want to stay a cog in what I believe is a deeply broken system that rewarded me for being a bad dad and a shitty husband. I am not my job, but I am beloved.



* (FULL DISCLOSURE)  I may have had sex with a mermaid in 1984. It was New Year’s and the champagne made me giggly.

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